My 27 Rules & Facts Of Life

27 Rules, Facts & Admonitions To Help You Reach The Point Of Being Old & Grey And Playing With Your Grandchildren (Which Is Probably The Point Of It All Anyway)

Eighty-Four and holding through this briefest flick of time
Still alive and kicking with more living on my mind
Because I’ve made it this far, I think I might have earned
The leave to let you know some things, important, that I’ve learned

1. Don’t hurt yourself or others, (this rule's among the stronger)
2. And figure everything you plan will cost more and take longer
3. If said “It’s not the money”, it’s the money I will bet you
4. If you think you’ll win in Vegas, there’s a bridge that I can get you
5. If your only tool’s a hammer, every problem seems a nail
6. If you think you’ll beat the system, I’ll come visit you in jail
7. The world will always be full up with lying politicians
8. If you walk in other’s moccasins, you’ll probably change positions
9. Each day will start much better if you see the morning dew
10. Make sure you teach your children they can love rich people too
11. When you deal with kids & old folks, you should opt for being kind
12. And men, you’re just not smart enough to know what’s on her mind
13. Don’t point a gun at anything you don’t intend to shoot
14. All guns are always loaded
15. The gun laws all are moot
16. Astrology, the drug war, and ghosts are all just bunk
17. There’s no “good” war,
18. You'l always lose, squabbling with a skunk
19. Eat to live, don’t live to eat,
20. Keep kids away from strangers
21. And just because you’re not afraid don't mean a lessened danger
22. There’s always someone tougher, smarter, meaner on the street
23. When your face is at a huge stone wall, the smart move’s to retreat
24. You’ll count your wealth much better by the things you live without
25. And lots of times a whisper works much better than a shout
26. Live to learn, you’ll learn to live, and dying’s part of life
27. Make sure the best friends that you have are husband, kids, and wife

That’s all I have to say right now, I hope it’s not too weighty
I’ll let you know more things I’ve learned the day that I turn ninety.